Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I smell like Dick and happiness
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