im gay
i know
yea but for you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
