Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We are all done wearing pants today
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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