My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
