good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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