was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
