she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Your dad touched me again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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