Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
