My room smells like vodka and shame
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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