I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
