Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
