omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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