I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
