I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
