I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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