he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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