I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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