I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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