The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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