Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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