Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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