Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
