so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
