And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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