And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
