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i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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