dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
