I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
