I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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