tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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