I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
