all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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