what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
