I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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