ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
