I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
