Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
