Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
