great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
