I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
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