hotel room ftw
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
