I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize