Pappa wants mamma naked
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
