thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
As shirtless as possible
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
