i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
