8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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