Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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