dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
