You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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