you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
