she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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