So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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