I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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