apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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